According to Linked In, these are the key words, in descending order, that lead people to my profile. Swear to God I haven't edited this:
"Keywords that led to you:
13% Freddie
4% McKenna
2% Arlington graphic design communications
2% sex toys
1% McKenna
1% Addy li
1% joke ge
1% Freddie B
1% WHUR
1% joke li
So... I can't argue with Freddie, or with McKenna, seeing as that's my actual name. Freddie b is probably a reference to my maiden name, which starts with that letter. I've never worked in Arlington, but it is a suburb of Washington DC, where I toiled in the advertising trade for 12 years. I'll take Addy - I've won a few, though not since I went grey and ended up in the salt mines of health care advertising. Joke ge probably stands for joke generator. I suffer from Pun Tourette's, so I'll cop to that. The urban station WHUR is a former client. But sex toy? Moi? I'm the kind of naif who thinks whipping is for cream, chains are for tires and Dildo is Bilbo Baggins' less adventurous cousin. I assumed a cock ring was an iPhone alarm setting until I drew a naked gay guy in life drawing class. (Well, cock-a-doodle-do and good morning).
So I looked at my profile, which I've been meaning to edit for the past 3 years, and I finally figured it out. Early on in my list of writerly attributes is the line "I understand tone and manner and would never use a sex joke to sell oatmeal to seniors." Bingo. Sex. Further down, I mention that I worked on Little Tykes Toys. Bango. Toys. Put 'em together and what do you get?
Busy.
I guess it really is time to rewrite the old profile.
