According to Linked In, these are the key words, in descending order, that lead people to my profile. Swear to God I haven't edited this:
"Keywords that led to you:
13% Freddie
4% McKenna
2% Arlington graphic design communications
2% sex toys
1% McKenna
1% Addy li
1% joke ge
1% Freddie B
1% WHUR
1% joke li
So... I can't argue with Freddie, or with McKenna, seeing as that's my actual name. Freddie b is probably a reference to my maiden name, which starts with that letter. I've never worked in Arlington, but it is a suburb of Washington DC, where I toiled in the advertising trade for 12 years. I'll take Addy - I've won a few, though not since I went grey and ended up in the salt mines of health care advertising. Joke ge probably stands for joke generator. I suffer from Pun Tourette's, so I'll cop to that. The urban station WHUR is a former client. But sex toy? Moi? I'm the kind of naif who thinks whipping is for cream, chains are for tires and Dildo is Bilbo Baggins' less adventurous cousin. I assumed a cock ring was an iPhone alarm setting until I drew a naked gay guy in life drawing class. (Well, cock-a-doodle-do and good morning).
So I looked at my profile, which I've been meaning to edit for the past 3 years, and I finally figured it out. Early on in my list of writerly attributes is the line "I understand tone and manner and would never use a sex joke to sell oatmeal to seniors." Bingo. Sex. Further down, I mention that I worked on Little Tykes Toys. Bango. Toys. Put 'em together and what do you get?
Busy.
I guess it really is time to rewrite the old profile.
2 comments:
Freddie, there is coffee on my computer because of your post from my hollywood spit take. That is absolutely classic.
I got here from your LinkedIn profile because the system prompted me that it's your birthday. Would you please post links to your two other blogs in your LinkedIn profile for the technologically unenthusiastic?
I will be chuckling for days thanks to your remarks about your ignorance of a certain kind of ring until you encountered the accoutrement of an unusually adorned life drawing model. Also, I think I ended up on your blog by looking up "argyle with words." I am working on a banner for a graphic design assignment for a college but reading some of your posts has proved to be a much more satisfying use of my time. Thanks.
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