No thanks.

What ever happened to you're welcome?

A gracious response to a thank you that implies that you're happy to help and would do so again.

Now, if you thank someone, you get back "no problem" or "no worries", responses that turn "you're welcome" on it's head. They're no longer about the person doing the thanking, but about the person being thanked. It's "no problem" you did not disturb me too much when I put myself out and did you a favor, but if it's a problem in the future, you're on your own. It's "no worries" I am not annoyed that you asked me to help you out, but if you push it, I just might get annoyed.

And since when did "waiting on" and "waiting for" become interchangeable? The guy with the order pad is supposed to wait ON me, and if I have to wait FOR him, I end up polishing off the bread basket. These days, we're "waiting on" the waiter, which could be why it doesn't occur to him to wait on us.

Think I'm being a word priss? Whatever you do, don't tell me "it's all good." There's a worldwide recession. The polar ice caps are melting. India and Pakistan are on high alert. China owns us, and it appears they're trying to poison us. Antibiotic-resistant TB is on the rise. Nicole Kidman can no longer move her face. They now make so many different kinds of Crest, you can get analysis paralysis in the toothpaste aisle. If you still want to tell me it's all good, I suggest you go read Candide.